PDF Alice Clayton À À Wallbanger Epub ò

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures Thanks to paper thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems as loud night after loud night goes by like an endless parade of women And since Caroline is currently on a self imposed dating hiatus and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed Caroline clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby doll nightie confronts Simon Parker her heard but never seen neighbor The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin and the results just as mixed Suddenly Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborlyIn a delicious mix of silly and steamy Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight


10 thoughts on “Wallbanger

  1. says:

    5 HUGE STARSLOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK EVERYONE HAS TO READ ITThis book was brilliantPure goldI’m in love with Simon Completely utterly in loveMy cheeks ache from laughingMy heart is happyDid I mention I love this book? This book was pure decadent lighthearted un put downable FUN A well written perfect blend of all things happy romantic sweet funny hilarious really melty swoony witty steamy with just enough tender deeper moments to make my heart sueeze I fell in love with everything – the characters the writing the story and Clive The most awesome cat ever to grace the pages of a novelIt was just one winning line after another I swear to freaking God than half my book is highlighted No joke The banter The chemistry The flirting The texts melt The nooking The wooing this book is just loaded with win I read most of it with a big stupid grin plastered on my face and pretty much just alternated between sueeing suealing giggling snorting crying shaking and cackling with laughterWhat’s this book about though? Now usually I write my own descriptions but I love the official blurb too much so here it is Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco a KitchenAid mixer and no O and we’re not talking Oprah here folks She has a flourishing design career an office overlooking the bay a killer zucchini bread recipe and no O She has Clive the best cat ever great friends a great rack and no OAdding insult to O less since her move she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late night wallbanging she’s ever heard Each moan spank and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep she still has yep you guessed it no OEnter Simon Parker No really Simon please enter When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed Caroline clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby doll nightie confronts her heard but never seen neighbor Their late night hallway encounter has well mixed results Ahem With walls this thin the tension’s gonna be thick Simon “Wallbanger” Parker Cocky charming sexy as all hell confident and once we got to know him better sweep you off your feet swoony I adored him its that simple He has made me list of top book boyfriends ever I loved that his character had depth At first you kind of wondered if he was just a bit of a manwhore but I loved that there was a whole background to him And its hard not to love a man who is obsessed with baked goods “You want me to cut you a piece — okay or you could just do that” I frowned as he took a giant bite out of the end“Thif if mine righ?” he asked spraying crumbs“How do you function in normal society?” I asked shaking my head as he took another monster bite I loved Caroline too She was sweet yet feisty and refreshingly direct about everything Brain Heart Nerves Backbone and of course O were brilliant additions to the storyI loved how casually Simon and Caroline’s relationship developed They were seriously one of the sweetest couples ever but there was no falling into bed on first sight for them “Now you listen mister” I said trying for a adult tone “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone No way buddy” They went from cockblockerwallbanger to truce status to friends to lovers The whole process just warmed my heart And throw in a healthy dollop of sexual tension and innuendos out the wazoo and you pretty much have a recipe for awesome “I like that we’re taking things slow You give good woo” I whispered I never once felt any urges to throttle a character or yell at them no eye rolling Nothing I was just one purely satisfied reader Oh and “Simon goes commando God bless America”Flaily Pink Nightie Girl and Mr Wallbanger Snorey Pants will always have a special place in my heart 3 Guys READ THIS BOOK CASTING see above and belowFor of my reviews visit Aestas Book BlogAnd come join the Aestas Book Blog Facebook Page


  2. says:

    BANG BANG BANG Oh GodBANG BANG BANG Oh GodBANG BANG BANG OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOODDDDTHE WALLS ARE SHAKING PICTURES ARE FALLING DOWN RUN FOR COVER PEOPLE GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR DRESS AND HIDE UNDER THE TABLE I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EARTHUAKEBUT Wait A SecNot an earthuakenope definitely not an earthuakeOne only one wall is shakingLIKE SOMEONE'S BANGING ON ITLet's take a closer look Shall we? “OH GOD” Thump “Oh God” Thump thump What the “Oh God that’s so good” “MmmmYeah baby Right there Just like thatDon’t stop don’t stop” OH OH OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMystery solved readersMeet NOT The WallbangerBUT THE WALLBANGER Name Simon Wallbanger Parker Age 28 years Occupation Freelance photographer Interests Pleasing the ladies by doing it in a rattling the headboard shaking the wall making a woman meow and giggle style with maybe some spanking thrown in He can definitely bang it home ladies Definitely a wallbanger Notice Something MISSING???That's right The BIG 'O'Meet 'O' This Orgasm O is the Property of Caroline Pink Nightie Girl Reynolds a 26 year old interior designer Missing since Last Six Months Culprit Cory Weinstein The machine gun fucker who’d hijacked the O Description of the event by the victim This was the worst kind of sex This was machine gun style fast fast fast This was thirty seconds on the tits sixty seconds on something that was about an inch above where he should have been and then in And out And in And out And in And outBut at least it was over uick right? Hell no This horribleness went on for months Well no But for almost thirty minutes Of in And out And in And out My poor hoohah felt like it had been sandblasted Remedies Tried Jason Bourne Matt Damon George ClooneyALL OF THEM HAVE FAILEDWHAT TO DO NOW??????????????Let's look for someone closer to homeSimon Wallbanger meet Caroline Caroline meet Simon WallbangerProblem solved YAYYYBut NO WAIT WHAT'S THIS? “Why are you such a manwhoring asshole?” I asked “Why are you such a cockblocking priss?” he askedNOOOOOOOOOONOW HOW WILL WE EVER FIND?????????????????????????Oh noI'm not cryingAlright yes I ambut how can I not when I'm laughing so hardimage error


  3. says:

    Text messages between The Book and Blacky So what do you think about me? Well you weren't short at all D Well yeah I'm pretty long and thick Just about average I'd say Pfttt you are average missy Didn't you like all the humor? Yeah it was good I guess the scene with Dr Ross was the best D Ohhhh yes makes me think of dirty things that man I wish I had my O back Yes I wish it too Your O brought frustration to me than it did to you Whatcha sayin'? You didn't like all the sexual frustration? How is that possible? How is that possible indeed And what about my story? What did you think of that? Story? What story? Book all you talked about was the lack of orgasms flirtation sexual frustration sex I may have forgotten a sexual thing or two that were mentioned P Mmmmmmm sexxxxxx Me wants the big O Hello book Focus I am talking to you Talking? Talking about sex? Mmmmmm sexxxxxx Me wants the big O I am facepalming here Can you try to have a nice conversation without thinking of sex? Me? Thinking about sex? Mmmmmmm sexxxxxx Me wants the big O Sigh I give up Did you just write sigh??? Well that's a hell of a time to start noticing P Blacky Simon Caroline The Cat The Book and The Friends are on a road trip traveling in the car together Blacky OMG I have to endure several hours in the car with Mr Horny and Ms Hornier and the CatfromHell Ughhh The friends are interesting though but even they think of nothing but sex I see Simon is looking at Caroline in a smouldering way His eyes don't stop twinkling for goodness sake Simon Why am I thinking about Caroline all the time? Hm must mean I want to wallbang her too Damn that will be tough cause she can't stop arguing with me Why does she hate me so much? Oh yeah I bang girls like crazy Mmmmmmmm Banging Walls Why doesn't this car have walls????? Caroline Simon keeps touching the inside of the car I don't think he likes it He does like fcking girls through the wall though I want to be fcked through a wall Wait no I don't I hate Simon But he's so pretty my lower Caroline says I don't care He's a jerk But I keep flirting with him all the time my lower Caroline says So what I can flirt and do whatever I like 'cause I don't have my O any Oh O how I miss you The CatfromHell They don't have a clue evil laugh I will make their lives misarable evil laugh The girl loves me but I don't plan to let her have her O back with the arrogant man evil laugh I will spoil all their plans eventually evil laugh My throat hurts from all the evil laughing coughs Simon Did that cat just evil laughed at me???? I must be hearing things Oh well back to thinking about sex And Caroline Damn I'm hard Will she stop looking at me with those hungry eyes? Damn I'm even harder now Must Suirm In My Seat Caroline Simon keeps suirming all the time What is his problem??? He's got to have a big hard on just for me Too bad I can't give it to him cause he's a jerk and I don't have my O back But I feel some suspicious fluttering my lower Caroline says YAY I'm gonna jump him as soon as I can Without actually having sex with him Ahhhh I just love that sexual frustration The Friends They are all so stupid ahahahaha we have found our someones to have sex with ahahahahaha we don't suffer any sexual frustration ahahahahaha Blacky OMG these people are driving me crazy Simon is trying to hide his hard on Caroline is talking to her belly the cat is making some funny evil noises and the friends are probably high or something they can't stop laughing Jeez Is anything going to happen here that doesn't have anything to do with sex or having sex or the lack of sex???Guess not The Book I am so happy D Everyone is horny and thinking about sex So awesome I am never going to let anyone do it ever again Well maybe The Friends will But man oh man there's nothing better than blue balls and frustration Just love it Oh I have to think of a few scenes well make it dozen at least where they'll want to have sex but couldn't do it for some reason Oh yes I think I will form an alliance with The CatfromHell AwesomeOh Mmmmm Yes to the left Harder Yesssssss Oh yes that's soooo gooood Harder yes there Push it Ohhhhhhhhh I just love going to the masseur You'd THINK I was doing something naughty But noLots of these in the book too DDD Anyway let me tell you what I thought about it in general No plot whatsoeverToo much sexual frustrationHumor was OK but would be better if there was just a bit less of it you know sometimes too much of a good thing can make you sick DI don't really mind the fact that they had to wait practically for the view spoilerend of the book to do the deed hide spoiler


  4. says:

    What is with these 'OMG Super Hot Fun' books that become all the rage here on GR lately? And they are all the sameA Mary Sue heroine with a perfect job and perfect friends who looks perfect but for some reason is alone and sexually frustrated And she's all kinds of batshit about her perceptions of men or sex or men AND sex Thus the heroine of what exactly? Then the hero Well he's of course otherworldly gorgeous and fit although he puts absolutely no effort into becoming that way and most of the time he's super rich of course and the very definition of Prince Charming except rouge and rascal than sweet and heroic Thus not really a heroEven so I usually make it farther than I did in this book and not because this book is worse by no means will anything scar me worse than the virginity scene in In Flight shivers but because I've just had enough If I hadn't had enough I might have struggled through and given this 3 stars in the endBut that's another reason I'm doing this this way 4 12 stars overall rating for this book? That is hysterically misleadingAnd this girls problems with her frakkin O and all of these blatant attempts as farcical humor are just too damn much Oh and this cat everyone is mooning over Clive? He's the most unrealistic of all He's like cartoon Garfield unrealistic And trust me I know some cats with personality but this is just stupidrant


  5. says:

    Reread I was worried that this wouldn’t be as great as the first time I read it I was wrong thank god It was so good So fuckin’ good There were numerous times I started to tear up because my emotions were going haywire I’m just so in love with this book——————————————Well hello there my new favourite Come to mamaI judged this book by the title And I feel like an absolute fool now because fuck me I loved this Loved itI can't wait to reread it and continue on with the series And read other books by this author


  6. says:

    I mean Hard to fault this book I had so much fun reading it sometimes laughing a bit too much that even my muscles hurt And sometimes that's all you need a book that makes you laught


  7. says:

    “Kittenslay backYou are about to get Wallbanged” I was an addict craving her doseI was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myselfAfter a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivationafter long days and bookless nightsthe time came to return where I belongAnd I had to celebrateI wanted something lightI wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them allAnd oh boyit didBut it also delivered sweetand fluffyand dreamy and a new book boyfriend that reduced me into a puddle of gooIt's official peopleI'm in loveAgain “Fucking Wallbanger” I hissed frozed on the spot His grin slid off as well as he played place the face for a moment “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl” Caroline has a wonderful job and wonderful friends and a wonderful new apartment and a wonderful cat and her life would be guess what wonderful if it wasn't for two thingsher missing O and her neighbor's loud midnight activities “The girl next door was meowing What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?” What sucks though is that the aforementioned annoying but gifted neighbor is super hotSahara hotAnd that Caroline is forced to play nice with Simon despite wanting to bang his head on the banging wall but at the same time she wants him to bang her against the god banging wallSee the problem here? “You gonna bang my walls Simon?” I laughed“You have no idea” he promised” The result?Tensioninnuendossexual frustrationbanterstensionlaugh out loud momentstension and did I mention tension?Ohand a really horny catAlice Clayton's writing is freaking hilariousI can't remember the last time I laughed this hardI had permanently a huge grin plastered on my face and I hosted a butterfly party in my stomach and that wasn't the work of Caroline and Simon's off the charts chemistry aloneThe way their feelings developed and unfolded was really heartwarming and sweeta slowly burning process that made Wallbanger a really romantic bookThey cooked togetherthey watched movies togetherthey shared their secrets and hopes and then they gave in to their animal attractionI must admit I never expected a guy named Simon to be this sexyOh how I wish I had a wallbanging neighbor but alasthe closest house is my late grandfather's houseIf I hear those walls bangingit will be the beginning of a Supernatural episode and not a great romanceUnless Sam Winchester pops up and rescues meThat would be niceMy point isif you want to laugh and swoon and escape stupid realitythis is the book for youPlusyou're going to meet a very interesting cat


  8. says:

    So disappointed This book went from OMG to a big fat DNF at 75% I really and I mean REALLY enjoyed the opening of this book and was looking forward to a great read But in the end I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it uits Oh it started off so funny and original The 'Wallbanger' and 'Cock blocker' jokes were cute Simon was such a mystery and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person Her conversations with her cat had me laughing And when Simon and her finally met the banter was so well done The story stayed on pace for a while but around the halfway mark it got a little juvenile for my tastes In the uest for friendship with Simon Caroline got a bit whiney and started playing head games The banter got a bit over the top The cliches got a bit thick And I was like WTF Caroline? And then the story got really farcical but I persisted Caroline started to really rub me wrong What is happening to her? She is turning into a desperate stupid big fat cliche from every bad Chick Lit book I've read Then she really really started to make me not like her The romance between her and Simon was turning into rainbow farting unicorns and the delusions dancing in her head were no longer entertaining I no longer wanted to hang with her assuming she was a real person And the story about her friends got weirder and weirder By the time I uit Simon was the only thing about this book I still really liked And that is how I plan to remember him because I am so afraid if I finish this book I will end up not liking him either So DNF at 75%


  9. says:

    Review posted at Swept Away By Romance 3 12 to 4 starsThere's no doubt Wallbanger is a fun delightful moderately sexy feel good read that bordered on the ANNOYING There were times I felt like wallbanging my head against the wall with the amount of unresolved sexual tension this poor couple was put through Geez This particular aspect of the story became so frustrating I enjoyed getting to know the two main characters Simon and Caroline They were endearing playful–maybe a little immature for their ages–but very likable characters Their fun and witty banter and developing friendship was what I loved the most about this book I can't end this review without a SHOUT OUT to Clive the cat Oh boy could that cat be in the wrong place at the wrong time Understatement of the century But I loved his involvement in the story At times I felt the cat actually eclipsed the two main leads I love when an author has the ability to make an animal an intricate part of the plot Other than my previously mentioned annoyances I had a blast reading this book If you're looking for a simple fun and engaging afternoon read you'll probably enjoy this one


  10. says:

    ETA downgraded to 3 stars September 20 2015 Hello O Nice to see you again With his lips he brought me one    35 stars I mean it And I want half starsOnce upon a time there was a missing O The pressure of an O long denied waiting patiently—and sometimes impatiently—for her release Lucky you because you found The Wallbanger Simon How’s the pressure now?Caroline Do you want me to hurt you? Shut it a look of dreamy bliss on her face Enter Baba Hey guys I wanna have a little chat with you Are you game? nodding heads left and right Baba beamsOkey dokey let’s get started Honestly I am not someone who beats around the bush Are you two for real? look of utter confusion on their faces Oh come on are you a little bit slow on the uptake? When I was reading your story I had to wonder now and then why you could not jump each other’s bones sooner rather than later Sheesh Yep By the way I was waiting impatiently as well I could feel the pressure and the sexual frustration tension no doubt about it If I take everything into account then I have to tell you that you stressed my patience to its limit Don’t get me wrong I am all for a great build up but why oh why did you have to wait so long till you hit the sheets eventually? Tell me guys is there a specific reason? No Simon please do not interrupt me now since I’m warming up so nicely Yeah I got it It’s been a very long time since you’ve had a girlfriend and you didn’t want to screw it up Yeah yeah you didn't know how to handle the delicate situation Point taken Oh Simon no worries I’ll be gentle pets At least I’ll give it an honest shotI’ll give it to you straight dude Your stay in Tahoe was one seriously annoying mess at least if you ask me and if you don’t ask me I don’t care either Period Do you remember what happened there? I mean you have view spoilerthis make out session in the hot tub and thenpoof Nada Rien ne va plus You just chickened out hide spoiler